Ive been in Korea for 8 months. Wow. That sounds crazy. I can't believe that I am already 2/3's of the way done with my contract. Thats crazy.
I haven't written in a month. But, my what a busy month it's been.
I had a coworker perform something on the roof of a bar that sounds like something you'd see in American Pie 4: The Expat Chronicles. I guess everybody's working for the weekend...
I went to my first Korea wedding. It was short and sweet: Go in. Say hi. Drop off some cash. Go to the buffet with the rest of the non-family members. Hang around awkwardly until someone notices and offers to give me a ride home.
A new teacher was hired and fired. It could be because a college diploma couldn't be produced. Or perhaps it was the compulsive lying. Or maybe it was the frequenting of Ahnma "massage parlors." Who knows...
A one Kate Wiersema made a 10 day VISA renewal run to Korea. We boogied around and saw some sights. We went Bungee Jumping, Sky Coasting, and Ejection Seating(?). We saw one of the palaces, wore traditional Korean garb, went clubbin'... Twas a good ole time.
I had my second run in with the health care system. More back issues (surprise surprise...) I went to a western hospital. Luckily i had a Korean assistant who doesn't speak very good English and could hardly help. Nice try though:) The hospital took some really crappy x-rays, stretched me out on a weird machine, and prescribed me a pill cocktail. After interrogating the pharmacist as to pills they were trying to shove down my throat, it was revealed the medley consisted of a medicine used to treat cystic fibrosis, an ulcer medication, a laxative, and an anti-inflammatory. I then decided to go the "natural" way and try eastern medicine. The traditional Korean doctor took my pulse and looked at my fingernails. Shocked, he says "Stress! Don't drink the cold water." They then stuck some needles in my back, hands and feet. They also heated some ceramic cups with a device that was a cross between a blowtorch and a bunsen burner. These cups left giant hickeys all over my back. On my way out he gave me 3 Caprisun-like pouches filled with brown liquid and told me "you will not enjoy these."
I have also been booked to sing at not 1, but 2 Korean weddings.
Saturday I will be singing at my first wedding. An ex-coworker of mine is getting married. A few American teachers and I will be belting out the Disney classic "A Whole New World." This should be fun.
Hope all's well!
Here are pics to prove my story
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Ive said it once and Ill say it again- Things are done a bit differently over here in the ROK. Some of the differences you realize right away- language, food, customs blah blah blah. But with time stark contrasts emerge.
For example, Alcoholism is a rampant social problem here. This is coming from a recent college grad, from Wisconsin, who has had more than a few drinks in 90% of friday nights over the last 7 years. Im no stranger to the hooch. But people here get hammered. I mean hammered. It is quite common to step over a puke pile of fresh ramen on my walk to work. Im no longer phased by the sight of drunk korean dude pissing on the street. And i always get a kick from watching Korean couples scream at each other only to have they fight end with one person falling over drunk. There is even a website dedicated to passed out koreans BLACK OUT KOREA
The drunkenness is not limited to the natives. The expats here contribute as well. I work with one of biggest drunks I've ever met. This dude is certifiably insane. You know when you first meet someone you can tell if they are a little off? When you meet this guy you might even give him a fake name. He's that off putting up. I honestly dont know where to begin. He once drank and entire bottle of rum THE MORNING before hosting a dinner at his house because he tried the rum and it "wasn't very good." He routinely come to work with various DRIs (drunk related injuries) Ive seen him with casts, stitches, open wounds, etc.. Its a well known fact that he drinks before and during work.
ANYWAY
The other day this fella, who we shall call Dave, showed up to work looking like he just walked off the set of fight club. His faced is messed up- bruised, cut and all sorts of crooked. He was screaming about how he wanted to take a sick day. Understandably so. He probably woulda made kids cry just by looking at him. None the less, our boss was super pissed at Dave. Like I said, it is not uncommon for dave to show up to work mangled. This isnt good for business especially in Korea where appearance is 9/10ths of the law.
So Dave is screaming about taking a sick day. Our boss screams back at him about being an alcoholic. These words actually came out of her mouth, "Dave, you are drunk right now! Get in there and teach."
Try to imagine yourself overhearing the owner/ director of an educational institution encouraging a creepy, drunk, mangled psycho to teach. After watching this its pretty hard to take my job seriously. I dont even need to fool my boss into thinking im sober. Piss drunk or bleeding from my ears, if i can speak audible english Im qualified for my job. Who said the job market sucks?
Oh Korea.:)
For example, Alcoholism is a rampant social problem here. This is coming from a recent college grad, from Wisconsin, who has had more than a few drinks in 90% of friday nights over the last 7 years. Im no stranger to the hooch. But people here get hammered. I mean hammered. It is quite common to step over a puke pile of fresh ramen on my walk to work. Im no longer phased by the sight of drunk korean dude pissing on the street. And i always get a kick from watching Korean couples scream at each other only to have they fight end with one person falling over drunk. There is even a website dedicated to passed out koreans BLACK OUT KOREA
The drunkenness is not limited to the natives. The expats here contribute as well. I work with one of biggest drunks I've ever met. This dude is certifiably insane. You know when you first meet someone you can tell if they are a little off? When you meet this guy you might even give him a fake name. He's that off putting up. I honestly dont know where to begin. He once drank and entire bottle of rum THE MORNING before hosting a dinner at his house because he tried the rum and it "wasn't very good." He routinely come to work with various DRIs (drunk related injuries) Ive seen him with casts, stitches, open wounds, etc.. Its a well known fact that he drinks before and during work.
ANYWAY
The other day this fella, who we shall call Dave, showed up to work looking like he just walked off the set of fight club. His faced is messed up- bruised, cut and all sorts of crooked. He was screaming about how he wanted to take a sick day. Understandably so. He probably woulda made kids cry just by looking at him. None the less, our boss was super pissed at Dave. Like I said, it is not uncommon for dave to show up to work mangled. This isnt good for business especially in Korea where appearance is 9/10ths of the law.
So Dave is screaming about taking a sick day. Our boss screams back at him about being an alcoholic. These words actually came out of her mouth, "Dave, you are drunk right now! Get in there and teach."
Try to imagine yourself overhearing the owner/ director of an educational institution encouraging a creepy, drunk, mangled psycho to teach. After watching this its pretty hard to take my job seriously. I dont even need to fool my boss into thinking im sober. Piss drunk or bleeding from my ears, if i can speak audible english Im qualified for my job. Who said the job market sucks?
Oh Korea.:)
Thursday, March 4, 2010
wolchulsan
So with the rare three day weekend rewarded to me because of some korean national holiday, I decided to boogie down to Gwangju to see Baker and Anne. We had talked earlier in the week about going camping or hiking- weather permitting. Saturday turned out to be kinda crappy so baker and i decided to go for a short hike on a local hill with an abandoned building on top. twas pretty alright. There was some type of tower that was poorly disguised as a tree. You can see the photo album on the facebook here
After the hike we relaxed and watched the new NKOTB (New Kids on the Block) music videos. They are pretty ridiculous. I you haven't seen em, you definitely should... Then we got some haemuljeon - korean pancakes and dong dong ju- korean rice wine. Treats.
Baker and I decided to go out for a beer after dinner. As was the case for most of my undergraduate career, one beer is impossible. We ended up ordering a bottle of JB Scotch for 25,000 won. A pretty good deal especially at a bar. We met some korean dudes and spoke konglish for a few hrs. One of the dudes was a badminton champion. We played rock paper scissors. It was a pretty good time.
The next morning we decided to climb a mountain, Wolchulsan Naturally we ate spicy pig spine soup for breakfast and boarded the bus for the mountain.
Buses in korea are hit or miss. Some of them are new, spacious and comfortable. Others are old, crowded and terrible. Our bus to the mountain was in the latter category. The weather was unseasonably warm. It was int he mid to upper 50s. The bus driver didnt get the memo. He cranked the heat for the duration of the trip. Fortunately being a white foreigner meant that no matter how crowded the bus became, i would never have someone sit next to me. I might as well be a leper. They are that scared of foreigners. Seriously every seat on the bus was taken except for the 2 next to me and Justin, a fellow whitey. The xenophobia can sometimes work to the ostracized population's favor at times...
Jon, Anne, Justin and I arrived at the mountain a little after noon. It looked pretty tall- definitely bigger than elver park in Madison. I was a bit intimidated. Jon and annie are runners. Its what they do. They thoroughly enjoy traveling on foot at a brisk pace. They do crazy things like run marathons. They have all the gear- special pants, shirts, shoes and packs. Being a bit worried about draggin ass up the mountain in my jeans and a flannel, I slammed a 4$ bottle of liquid that said "POWER" in big green letters. That and 2 coffees I figured would help me keep up in my pedestrian garb.
I was wrong.
Climbing Wolchulsan was one of the most difficult things I have done in the past 15 years- this includes high school volleyball and once frolfing 72 holes one day in college.
After the first 45 minutes I wanted to die and a wouldn't have been surprised if i had perished. We followed a mountain stream for the first jaunt. Streams as you know are wet. This mean the rocks were wet. The railings were wet. Even the metal ladder we climbed for 30 minutes was slick. Slippery rocks and ladders aren't optimal when you are climbing an f'ing mountain.
Somewhere in the fog of exhaustion and monotony of the half hour ladder climb i almost fell backwards 30 feet to the last "landing." Almost dieing got my adrenaline pumping.
About an hr into the hike we reached my first excuse for a break, a suspension bridge between two peaks known as the Cloud bridge. After an hour of extreme physical exertion and pure terror, is when i first realized why someone would ever consciously decide to ascend a mountain. The view was absolutely stunning. While resisting my body's urge to vomit, i took a few pictures and tried to catch my breath. Just as I was starting to feel better the crew decided to trek onward. Summoning all of the energy my hungover, out of shape, crooked body could tap, I lumbered on.
What followed was an hour and a half of shit-your-pants horrifying ridge lines and slippery broken-ass stairs of death. I came to the realization that Jon and Justin were simply crazy and gave up trying to keep pace with those lunatics. I wanted to leave the mountain on my hands and knees, not on a stretcher. I reached the Cheonghwangbong Peak a full hour and a half ahead of schedule and only 3-5 minutes behind the crazies. As I was engulfed in a cloud I remember thinking, "So this is it? This is what i just busted my ass for?" Then the cloud parted and my hard work was rewarded with a spectacular view of the surrounding landscape.
We sat on top of the mountain for about 20 minutes and ate some grub and took some pictures. We then started back down. Jon loves running up mountains but he is terrified of going down. He creeps down the mountain at the pace of a crippled old man. I kept him company on the way down. We had some quality bro time. It was nice.
We met justin and Annie at the bottom. We strolled though an odd sculpture park complete with giant phallic objects, random sculptures of people sodomizing, and a giant female breast.
When it is all said and done, we shaved a little over 2 hrs off the recommended time of 6 hrs. I would've liked to have taken more time and absorbed my surroundings, but my first mountain climb was pretty alright. I;d like to summit a few more mountains while Im here. However next time I dont plan on sprinting up the protrusion of earth like i've lost my damn mind.
You can see the pics of this adventure here
After the hike we relaxed and watched the new NKOTB (New Kids on the Block) music videos. They are pretty ridiculous. I you haven't seen em, you definitely should... Then we got some haemuljeon - korean pancakes and dong dong ju- korean rice wine. Treats.
Baker and I decided to go out for a beer after dinner. As was the case for most of my undergraduate career, one beer is impossible. We ended up ordering a bottle of JB Scotch for 25,000 won. A pretty good deal especially at a bar. We met some korean dudes and spoke konglish for a few hrs. One of the dudes was a badminton champion. We played rock paper scissors. It was a pretty good time.
The next morning we decided to climb a mountain, Wolchulsan Naturally we ate spicy pig spine soup for breakfast and boarded the bus for the mountain.
Buses in korea are hit or miss. Some of them are new, spacious and comfortable. Others are old, crowded and terrible. Our bus to the mountain was in the latter category. The weather was unseasonably warm. It was int he mid to upper 50s. The bus driver didnt get the memo. He cranked the heat for the duration of the trip. Fortunately being a white foreigner meant that no matter how crowded the bus became, i would never have someone sit next to me. I might as well be a leper. They are that scared of foreigners. Seriously every seat on the bus was taken except for the 2 next to me and Justin, a fellow whitey. The xenophobia can sometimes work to the ostracized population's favor at times...
Jon, Anne, Justin and I arrived at the mountain a little after noon. It looked pretty tall- definitely bigger than elver park in Madison. I was a bit intimidated. Jon and annie are runners. Its what they do. They thoroughly enjoy traveling on foot at a brisk pace. They do crazy things like run marathons. They have all the gear- special pants, shirts, shoes and packs. Being a bit worried about draggin ass up the mountain in my jeans and a flannel, I slammed a 4$ bottle of liquid that said "POWER" in big green letters. That and 2 coffees I figured would help me keep up in my pedestrian garb.
I was wrong.
Climbing Wolchulsan was one of the most difficult things I have done in the past 15 years- this includes high school volleyball and once frolfing 72 holes one day in college.
After the first 45 minutes I wanted to die and a wouldn't have been surprised if i had perished. We followed a mountain stream for the first jaunt. Streams as you know are wet. This mean the rocks were wet. The railings were wet. Even the metal ladder we climbed for 30 minutes was slick. Slippery rocks and ladders aren't optimal when you are climbing an f'ing mountain.
Somewhere in the fog of exhaustion and monotony of the half hour ladder climb i almost fell backwards 30 feet to the last "landing." Almost dieing got my adrenaline pumping.
About an hr into the hike we reached my first excuse for a break, a suspension bridge between two peaks known as the Cloud bridge. After an hour of extreme physical exertion and pure terror, is when i first realized why someone would ever consciously decide to ascend a mountain. The view was absolutely stunning. While resisting my body's urge to vomit, i took a few pictures and tried to catch my breath. Just as I was starting to feel better the crew decided to trek onward. Summoning all of the energy my hungover, out of shape, crooked body could tap, I lumbered on.
What followed was an hour and a half of shit-your-pants horrifying ridge lines and slippery broken-ass stairs of death. I came to the realization that Jon and Justin were simply crazy and gave up trying to keep pace with those lunatics. I wanted to leave the mountain on my hands and knees, not on a stretcher. I reached the Cheonghwangbong Peak a full hour and a half ahead of schedule and only 3-5 minutes behind the crazies. As I was engulfed in a cloud I remember thinking, "So this is it? This is what i just busted my ass for?" Then the cloud parted and my hard work was rewarded with a spectacular view of the surrounding landscape.
We sat on top of the mountain for about 20 minutes and ate some grub and took some pictures. We then started back down. Jon loves running up mountains but he is terrified of going down. He creeps down the mountain at the pace of a crippled old man. I kept him company on the way down. We had some quality bro time. It was nice.
We met justin and Annie at the bottom. We strolled though an odd sculpture park complete with giant phallic objects, random sculptures of people sodomizing, and a giant female breast.
When it is all said and done, we shaved a little over 2 hrs off the recommended time of 6 hrs. I would've liked to have taken more time and absorbed my surroundings, but my first mountain climb was pretty alright. I;d like to summit a few more mountains while Im here. However next time I dont plan on sprinting up the protrusion of earth like i've lost my damn mind.
You can see the pics of this adventure here
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Class management
Everyday is an adventure even when you aren't looking for one.
What comes to mind when you think of underrated painful life experiences? Cutting a finger nail too short? Paper cuts? If you have ever had a pimple in your nose, you know how one simple clogged pore can ruin your week.
So i had a pimple in my nose. It was terrible. I couldn't think for 5 days. The only thought in my head was "damn it this hurts." To make matters worse my nose turned as red as an Old Spice Deodorant stick. Terrible.
For the record, Koreans take great care of their appearance. There are mirrors everywhere. Everywhere. 60% of their buildings are concrete, 20% is made of mirrors. You cant get on an elevator without someone fixing their perfectly fine hair, straightening their collar, or picking non-existent lint of their shiny blazer. Even the dudes invest copious amounts of time in their presentation of self.
So i had to teach all week with an active volcano brewing inside my sniffer. It was red, swollen and painful. Terrible. If the kids can notice that i clipped my fingernails they were surely going to notice their teacher has a flaming, red hot infected nose. They did.
I walk into class to them whispering in Korean. Finally one of them says, "Teacher drinky soju?"
Ha! they thought the reason i had a red clown nose was because i was drinking before class! (They've never noticed before...)
"Teacher Noodle poo!"
Now what is "noodle poo" one may ask? Well it stumped me the first time i heard it too. I had no f'in clue. "What the hell are you calling me?" After some miming and KONGLISH it came to my realization they were trying to say Rudolph- You know THE red nosed reindeer?
Noodle Poo = Rudolph
Each class i pretended to know nothing about "noodle poo" to steer their concentration away from the massive zit in the middle of my face. It worked with some of the kids, others drew some pretty decent pictures of cartoon "noodle poos." oh well you win some and you lose some...
What comes to mind when you think of underrated painful life experiences? Cutting a finger nail too short? Paper cuts? If you have ever had a pimple in your nose, you know how one simple clogged pore can ruin your week.
So i had a pimple in my nose. It was terrible. I couldn't think for 5 days. The only thought in my head was "damn it this hurts." To make matters worse my nose turned as red as an Old Spice Deodorant stick. Terrible.
For the record, Koreans take great care of their appearance. There are mirrors everywhere. Everywhere. 60% of their buildings are concrete, 20% is made of mirrors. You cant get on an elevator without someone fixing their perfectly fine hair, straightening their collar, or picking non-existent lint of their shiny blazer. Even the dudes invest copious amounts of time in their presentation of self.
So i had to teach all week with an active volcano brewing inside my sniffer. It was red, swollen and painful. Terrible. If the kids can notice that i clipped my fingernails they were surely going to notice their teacher has a flaming, red hot infected nose. They did.
I walk into class to them whispering in Korean. Finally one of them says, "Teacher drinky soju?"
Ha! they thought the reason i had a red clown nose was because i was drinking before class! (They've never noticed before...)
"Teacher Noodle poo!"
Now what is "noodle poo" one may ask? Well it stumped me the first time i heard it too. I had no f'in clue. "What the hell are you calling me?" After some miming and KONGLISH it came to my realization they were trying to say Rudolph- You know THE red nosed reindeer?
Noodle Poo = Rudolph
Each class i pretended to know nothing about "noodle poo" to steer their concentration away from the massive zit in the middle of my face. It worked with some of the kids, others drew some pretty decent pictures of cartoon "noodle poos." oh well you win some and you lose some...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Im coming home, I'm depressed
I'm not depressed. Apparently the last post was kinda dark. A couple folks have asked if I am OK. This is what happens when novice writers create something that is read by a few folks. I am fine! I am definitely having a good time over here.
I tried to convey in the last post that the WOWness factor has worn off. Its not a bad thing. I've just become accustomed to many of the "quirky" aspects of korean culture. Seeing Silkworm larvae as bar snacks, watching men and women smack each other around in public, experiencing overt racism with a twist of celebrity status, filling up on sushi for 6 US dollars, kareoke singing rooms, nude korean bath houses, drinks not served at restaurants, effeminate males dominating the dating scene, people everywhere screaming into loud speakers, the lack of good beer, unlimited 1 dollar bottles of booze, mini mountains everywhere, walking over vomit piles of ramen noodles - all of these things no longer come as a surprise. Like i said this is like a bad movie that you enjoy because of how bad it is. But all in all things are going very well. Like Dan said, as white american males we are playing with a stacked deck. Being paid to fly around the world and speak my native tongue is alright.
So i had my two amigos Jon Baker and Jon Coon come to visit this past weekend. The ole boys left their better halves at home. The plans was to talk about farts and chicks all night long.
I got a little rowdy the previous night with some friends from work. We went to this little hole in the wall place down a dark alley. It was awesome. We sat around and ate spicy chicken (galbi) and drank more than our share of Soju. By the end of the evening we were doing Toefl Speaking Questions- "If you were camping, would you rather have wet socks or wet underwear for the whole trip?" It was a jolly ole time.
The next afternoon came a little too soon.
Ok so I every morning, I mean EVERY MORNING, between 8 and 9 Some asshole drives around screaming into a loud speaker trying to sell his breakfast slop. I can hear him a kilometer away. Its terrible. Every morning I contemplate throwing something at him, slashing his tires or just running out there and screaming at him in my devil tongue. I mean it drives everyone insane. This particular morning my head was throbbing a little too hard for me to do anything besides taking great pleasure in planning his demise.
Jon and Jon arrived around 2. We Decided to go up to for a little hike. We boogied out of town the the Sang Dang Fortress. it is a 4 KM wall built around a little korean village on Mt Uam. Its a pretty cool little hike. We decided to grab some food before our jaunt. We decided on the Spicy Octopus Soup. We also had 2 kettles of Makgeolli (Korean rice wine that you drink out of tin bowls) which may or may not have been a good idea seeing that it is winter and ice also exists in korea.
ABout 20 minutes into the hike Jon C decided to run and try slide standing up on the ice. Well he slipped and slid down an ever so slightly descending path in slow motion. He probably slid 15-20 meters in the time span of 5 seconds. As i type this i am laughing. It was pretty funny.
After the fortress we hit up a virtual golf place. My buddy Dan joined us. He also has a better half that was left at home. We tracked a bunch of mud into the place. drank beer and soju, ate some free corn dogs, hit things, talked about farts - you know DUUUDES NIGHT!!! This was the first time i was able to complete 9 holes in virtual golf with out injuring my self. The 2 previous times I walked, or rather limped away, with self inflicted injuries. What can i say, Im a klutz.
After golf we got some galmaegisal. This stuff is awesome. Little chunks of marinated beef steak, grilled over charcoal at your table. We sat on these little stools in a large transparent tent eating grilled meat wrapped in rice and lettuce while taking shots of korean grain alcohol. DUUUUDES NIGHT!
Later we hit up a few bars and told off color jokes that would get us fired from Middleton High school
One of the nice things about the bar scene in Korea is that the bars are open as long as people are willing and able to drink. We played some pool, yelled along with some Johnny Cash and had some more beers until maybe 5am. DUUUUDES NIGHT!
After we had our fill we got some late night Korean food and passed out while watching Jim Gafigan. "HOT POCKETS!"
The next morning was a little rough. We woke up and stumbled downtown to get some burgers. Being it DUUDES WEEKEND i decided to get the manliest thing i could get the Koreans to concoct. I made them make me a Bacon Cheese Burger with a Grilled Chicken Breast and a Fried Egg. Shortly after inhaling it i went into cardiac arrest. The rest of Dudes Morning was spent digesting that manwhich.
All in all, dudes weekend was a success.
I tried to convey in the last post that the WOWness factor has worn off. Its not a bad thing. I've just become accustomed to many of the "quirky" aspects of korean culture. Seeing Silkworm larvae as bar snacks, watching men and women smack each other around in public, experiencing overt racism with a twist of celebrity status, filling up on sushi for 6 US dollars, kareoke singing rooms, nude korean bath houses, drinks not served at restaurants, effeminate males dominating the dating scene, people everywhere screaming into loud speakers, the lack of good beer, unlimited 1 dollar bottles of booze, mini mountains everywhere, walking over vomit piles of ramen noodles - all of these things no longer come as a surprise. Like i said this is like a bad movie that you enjoy because of how bad it is. But all in all things are going very well. Like Dan said, as white american males we are playing with a stacked deck. Being paid to fly around the world and speak my native tongue is alright.
So i had my two amigos Jon Baker and Jon Coon come to visit this past weekend. The ole boys left their better halves at home. The plans was to talk about farts and chicks all night long.
I got a little rowdy the previous night with some friends from work. We went to this little hole in the wall place down a dark alley. It was awesome. We sat around and ate spicy chicken (galbi) and drank more than our share of Soju. By the end of the evening we were doing Toefl Speaking Questions- "If you were camping, would you rather have wet socks or wet underwear for the whole trip?" It was a jolly ole time.
The next afternoon came a little too soon.
Ok so I every morning, I mean EVERY MORNING, between 8 and 9 Some asshole drives around screaming into a loud speaker trying to sell his breakfast slop. I can hear him a kilometer away. Its terrible. Every morning I contemplate throwing something at him, slashing his tires or just running out there and screaming at him in my devil tongue. I mean it drives everyone insane. This particular morning my head was throbbing a little too hard for me to do anything besides taking great pleasure in planning his demise.
Jon and Jon arrived around 2. We Decided to go up to for a little hike. We boogied out of town the the Sang Dang Fortress. it is a 4 KM wall built around a little korean village on Mt Uam. Its a pretty cool little hike. We decided to grab some food before our jaunt. We decided on the Spicy Octopus Soup. We also had 2 kettles of Makgeolli (Korean rice wine that you drink out of tin bowls) which may or may not have been a good idea seeing that it is winter and ice also exists in korea.
ABout 20 minutes into the hike Jon C decided to run and try slide standing up on the ice. Well he slipped and slid down an ever so slightly descending path in slow motion. He probably slid 15-20 meters in the time span of 5 seconds. As i type this i am laughing. It was pretty funny.
After the fortress we hit up a virtual golf place. My buddy Dan joined us. He also has a better half that was left at home. We tracked a bunch of mud into the place. drank beer and soju, ate some free corn dogs, hit things, talked about farts - you know DUUUDES NIGHT!!! This was the first time i was able to complete 9 holes in virtual golf with out injuring my self. The 2 previous times I walked, or rather limped away, with self inflicted injuries. What can i say, Im a klutz.
After golf we got some galmaegisal. This stuff is awesome. Little chunks of marinated beef steak, grilled over charcoal at your table. We sat on these little stools in a large transparent tent eating grilled meat wrapped in rice and lettuce while taking shots of korean grain alcohol. DUUUUDES NIGHT!
Later we hit up a few bars and told off color jokes that would get us fired from Middleton High school
One of the nice things about the bar scene in Korea is that the bars are open as long as people are willing and able to drink. We played some pool, yelled along with some Johnny Cash and had some more beers until maybe 5am. DUUUUDES NIGHT!
After we had our fill we got some late night Korean food and passed out while watching Jim Gafigan. "HOT POCKETS!"
The next morning was a little rough. We woke up and stumbled downtown to get some burgers. Being it DUUDES WEEKEND i decided to get the manliest thing i could get the Koreans to concoct. I made them make me a Bacon Cheese Burger with a Grilled Chicken Breast and a Fried Egg. Shortly after inhaling it i went into cardiac arrest. The rest of Dudes Morning was spent digesting that manwhich.
All in all, dudes weekend was a success.
Monday, January 25, 2010
korea
The Vikings just lost in the NFC championship for the 5th time. Brett Favre will likely be the first player to retire twice with his last completion being to the opposing team thus preventing his team from reaching the Superbowl. :)
So it goes.
There is never a dull day in Korea. Our school is now doing intensive courses, which means i teach an additional 2 classes a week for 60 clams. Not too bad. Everyone at our school is tired of being there. Its the truth. Some have teachers talking about leaving early. I hope they dont. I'll miss em and that'll be more work for me :(
Korea.
In the past 10 days, twice I've seen little boys peeing in receptacles held by their mothers- once in the cereal aisle of a crowded grocery store and the other waiting in line at a coffee shop. There was nothing hiding either event. It was almost like the she wanted every on to see her son pee standing up. Honestly where are the father figures in this country? Drunk on bottle of 1$ liquor sold at EVERY convenience store in the country.
I dont know what is up but being in Korea has triggered extremely vivid, repressed memories. No joke. I am not talking about gropings from family members, or being beaten by my parents. These memories are random and seemingly meaningless. I'm talking about sitting in a my friend's gramma's hot tub when i was 6, the uncomfortably, thin carpet in the basement of the house my family moved from when i was 10, the time i tried to show my friend andrew my nude mother when i was 5, sleepovers that didn't involve alcohol...
People ask if Im homesick. Not really. Ive been trying to create homesickness. Last Saturday I listened to a bunch of country music from when i was in high school. I looked at happy pictures from past relationships. Ive been reading Population 485- a book about small town Wisconsin.
You may ask why I am trying to make my self homesick... Well 1.) Im bored. 2.) It really doesn't feel like any of this is real. I dont feel 25. I dont feel like I've been in THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA for 5 months. This feels like a weird dream. No better yet it feels like a bad movie that you like because it is so bad and unrealistic. But this is real and its not all that comical... Nothing seems real.
At the same time, I am going to wake up in a few years and it'll be hard to believe i spent a year of my life in South Korea- a quirky, homogeneous, racist, patriarchal, wannabe western nation. Harsh but true words...
The funny thing is I can see myself staying here longer because I kinda dig it.
So it goes.
There is never a dull day in Korea. Our school is now doing intensive courses, which means i teach an additional 2 classes a week for 60 clams. Not too bad. Everyone at our school is tired of being there. Its the truth. Some have teachers talking about leaving early. I hope they dont. I'll miss em and that'll be more work for me :(
Korea.
In the past 10 days, twice I've seen little boys peeing in receptacles held by their mothers- once in the cereal aisle of a crowded grocery store and the other waiting in line at a coffee shop. There was nothing hiding either event. It was almost like the she wanted every on to see her son pee standing up. Honestly where are the father figures in this country? Drunk on bottle of 1$ liquor sold at EVERY convenience store in the country.
I dont know what is up but being in Korea has triggered extremely vivid, repressed memories. No joke. I am not talking about gropings from family members, or being beaten by my parents. These memories are random and seemingly meaningless. I'm talking about sitting in a my friend's gramma's hot tub when i was 6, the uncomfortably, thin carpet in the basement of the house my family moved from when i was 10, the time i tried to show my friend andrew my nude mother when i was 5, sleepovers that didn't involve alcohol...
People ask if Im homesick. Not really. Ive been trying to create homesickness. Last Saturday I listened to a bunch of country music from when i was in high school. I looked at happy pictures from past relationships. Ive been reading Population 485- a book about small town Wisconsin.
You may ask why I am trying to make my self homesick... Well 1.) Im bored. 2.) It really doesn't feel like any of this is real. I dont feel 25. I dont feel like I've been in THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA for 5 months. This feels like a weird dream. No better yet it feels like a bad movie that you like because it is so bad and unrealistic. But this is real and its not all that comical... Nothing seems real.
At the same time, I am going to wake up in a few years and it'll be hard to believe i spent a year of my life in South Korea- a quirky, homogeneous, racist, patriarchal, wannabe western nation. Harsh but true words...
The funny thing is I can see myself staying here longer because I kinda dig it.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
xmas
When i decided to commit to a year in the R.O.K, I was intrigued with the prospect of being absent from my traditional holiday celebrations. Would i miss my family? Friends? Would I miss the stress of packing 4 Christmas' and trying to see i amigos in the Madison area? Would i even notice the difference?
Well my first Christmas abroad was pretty decent. I dog sat for a cute little dachshund. Besides working until 10pm on x-mas eve, it wasn't too bad. We were the only academy in our city to be in operation on the eve of the largest celebration of capitalism in the history of the world. My students didnt want to be there and neither did I. I gave some Christmas word puzzles and called it a day.
That night a few colleagues went out for drinks. One of the teachers had some cointreau. That was interesting :) We sat at a bar and drank to being abroad. I went home to my furry son for the week.
The next day i saw Sherlock Holmes with a Korean lassie I met and her younger brother. That was interesting... Later that night I went to dinner with one of my colleagues, her boy toy and that same Korean Lassie. We went to arguably the fanciest restaurant in town- THE OUTBACK STEAK HOUSE.
No joke. Outback is one of the most expensive restaurants in town. If you tell people you are going to Outback, they are impressed. Its pretty funny. Because this Outback is just like every outback in Wisky- kangaroos all over the walls, waitresses with the cookie-cutter white button up with a colorful bowtie. The onyl thing different is the average cost of a dish is 30$.
I figured i would treat myself to something as western as I could. I had some spareribs and a side salad and some wine. It was definitely what i was craving. Even if it was a bit pricey.
After dinner had some drinks and ended up going to a Noraebong- a private Karaoke room. They have disco lights, lasers, a little dance floor, and couches. These things are everywhere in Korea. People pay good money to go into their own little rooms and sing their heart out either by themselves or for their friends. They even have tiny 2 person rooms in arcades and along the streets. These little 5'w x5'l x7'h room are always packed. Its pretty nutz how crazy they are for their private singing rooms.
Anywho i belted out some of my favorites from the limited selection of English tunes. "Funkytown" "Take it easy" "Complicated" and some 90's ballads that I dont care to mention.
All in all it was a good couple days. I had gifts sent to me from the states (thanks everyone) I didnt get too home sick. It was almost surreal when it was over. One of the things that seem to bother a good portion of English teachers abroad had passed without a problem. Much like most holidays, there is the stress and planning. Then the day comes and goes by super fast. Then the next day is just another day.
Well my first Christmas abroad was pretty decent. I dog sat for a cute little dachshund. Besides working until 10pm on x-mas eve, it wasn't too bad. We were the only academy in our city to be in operation on the eve of the largest celebration of capitalism in the history of the world. My students didnt want to be there and neither did I. I gave some Christmas word puzzles and called it a day.
That night a few colleagues went out for drinks. One of the teachers had some cointreau. That was interesting :) We sat at a bar and drank to being abroad. I went home to my furry son for the week.
The next day i saw Sherlock Holmes with a Korean lassie I met and her younger brother. That was interesting... Later that night I went to dinner with one of my colleagues, her boy toy and that same Korean Lassie. We went to arguably the fanciest restaurant in town- THE OUTBACK STEAK HOUSE.
No joke. Outback is one of the most expensive restaurants in town. If you tell people you are going to Outback, they are impressed. Its pretty funny. Because this Outback is just like every outback in Wisky- kangaroos all over the walls, waitresses with the cookie-cutter white button up with a colorful bowtie. The onyl thing different is the average cost of a dish is 30$.
I figured i would treat myself to something as western as I could. I had some spareribs and a side salad and some wine. It was definitely what i was craving. Even if it was a bit pricey.
After dinner had some drinks and ended up going to a Noraebong- a private Karaoke room. They have disco lights, lasers, a little dance floor, and couches. These things are everywhere in Korea. People pay good money to go into their own little rooms and sing their heart out either by themselves or for their friends. They even have tiny 2 person rooms in arcades and along the streets. These little 5'w x5'l x7'h room are always packed. Its pretty nutz how crazy they are for their private singing rooms.
Anywho i belted out some of my favorites from the limited selection of English tunes. "Funkytown" "Take it easy" "Complicated" and some 90's ballads that I dont care to mention.
All in all it was a good couple days. I had gifts sent to me from the states (thanks everyone) I didnt get too home sick. It was almost surreal when it was over. One of the things that seem to bother a good portion of English teachers abroad had passed without a problem. Much like most holidays, there is the stress and planning. Then the day comes and goes by super fast. Then the next day is just another day.
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